


Red Strings of Fate

by Shinichis Lover (Crazee_Mentalist)



Series: Soulmate [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canon Related, F/M, Red String of Fate, Soulmates AU, Touken Week, Unplanned Pregnancy, slight AriEto, slight Nishikimi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazee_Mentalist/pseuds/Shinichis%20Lover
Summary: Soulmates are tied by a red string. You can cut yours if you want to, then you’ll be reassigned to someone else, someone who’s perhaps- better. But beware; If you cut it three times, you will end up alone for the rest of your life.A revised version of my Touken Week fic on Tumblr.





	1. Beginning [Kuroneki]

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written based on Touken Week which had its own prompts, and they were based on different version/personality of Kaneki. Each chapter will have different Kaneki based on this order: Kuroneki > Shironeki > No. 240 > Haise > Reaperneki > Kingneki
> 
> If you have read this on Tumblr, thank you so much! *hugs* What I meant by revised version is that there will be some additional parts, some editing, and probably more angst lol. The plot still remains the same, but I might make the ending much happier since some of the readers couldn’t take the original ending very well :3

_Soulmates are tied by red strings. The string would only appear once your soulmate is nearby- within your town area. Once it appears, it will never disappear even if that person went far away. Only_ you _could see it, no one else could- except for your soulmate, of course. However, even if you could see it, it tangles, and leads to an invisible path, you would only be able to see the end of the string once your soulmate is right there, in front of you._

Kirishima Touka had just returned to the counter after serving a cup of Americano to a customer when her first red string appeared, twirling around her pinky finger and tying itself into a cute ribbon before her eyes. It was thin, but strong yet stretchable. She was able to touch it, tug it, and even curl it, but she could not undo the knot that kept it tied to her finger. It stayed there securely like a dead knot.

To be honest, she didn’t really care about it. She was only 17 years old- a high school student, she had no time at all to think about having a soulmate. Plus, with CCG doves roaming around and other ghouls constantly threatening Anteiku- soulmate matters should be the last thing on her mind. She used to think that she may have died first before even meeting her soulmate, due to the hard nature of ghouls’ day-to-day survival.

Plus, what if her soulmate was a human? That would be troublesome. No human would ever date a ghoul- their predator. She wasn’t planning to eat him, no, she wasn’t that cruel. But what was the probability of having a ghoul as your soulmate? Close to none. There were only 10,000 ghouls in 127 million of Japan population. Yeah. Close to none.

She stared at her red string, hard.

_This is troublesome…_

Nishiki noticed her silence and the intense gaze that she held on her own pinky finger. He smirked.

“It finally appears huh? Took the cupid long enough.”

“Shut up, shitty Nishiki. I’m not interested in it.” She retorted, immediately went to wash the dirty cups in the sink. She was surprised to see the string didn’t even get wet when in contact with water.

“Why? Look at Kimi and me, we’re getting married next year.” A grin of smugness displayed all over his face as he wiggled his fingers right in front of her face to show off his silver engagement ring and his red string, but of course she could not see the latter.

“Tch. I know you’re excited but stop showing off you bastard!” She hit his arm causing him to yell in pain. “You’re much older than me, it’s normal for you to get married soon. I’m still in high school, you know?”

“Hey, chill out, it’s not like you’ll meet him soon anyways. It means that he’s nearby, that’s all.”

“Which makes it even easier for us to encounter each other, now that we’re nearby. Yours appeared when you entered Kamii, am I right?”

Nishiki’s eyes lit up at her interest in his string.

“Yeah, on the first day, since that was the first time we were in the same area as each other.”

She stopped washing the cups and turned around to properly interrogate him. She couldn’t help but feel curious about how the red string worked.

“When did you finally meet her?”

“Well, Kamii is huge, but I met her in our second week of the semester. Not bad huh?” He grinned, remembering how he met her at the vending machine. He was planning to use her, then eventually eat her, but before he knew it- he fell hard, mainly because she accepted his ghoul side wholeheartedly.

“In two weeks...” She mumbled, but Nishiki caught it anyway.

“Yours might appear today, or tomorrow, or next year. No one knows.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe you can walk around 20th ward just to search for him.”

She snorted.

“No thanks. If he asks me for a date, I’ll just turn him down.”

Hearing her blunt statement, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disbelief.

“Hey, don’t just decide that on your own! What if it’s his third string? He’ll end up alone for the rest of his life.”

She paused washing the cups, taking some time to process his words. _It’s true. Should I really sacrifice someone’s love life because of my selfishness?_

“But if he’s a human… then I have to. Else, you know…” _I’ll kill him, then eat him afterwards._

He sighed heavily, his gaze landed on the ring and the red string around his fingers, a soft smile plastered on his face.

“I gave Kimi, a human, a chance. I think you should too.”

 

* * *

 

Three weeks had passed, and Touka had somehow forgotten about the bright red string tied to her pinky finger.

Until one fine day, when she heard the chime of Anteiku’s doorbell which made her greet ‘Welcome~’ as usual, she felt something tugged her lightly. Or, to be précised, something tugged her pinky finger.

 

Her string tensed and straightened out, forming a visible line towards the person who had just entered the café. In that moment, for the first time in three weeks, she could see the end of her string. It was no longer tangled or led to a transparent end. It was straight, and tied to another finger that belonged to someone whom she could see from her own two eyes.

Her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears as she slowly looked up at the owner of the string on the other end, and once her eyes landed on his- she almost smacked her own forehead, disappointment painted across her face.

He wasn’t what she expected.

 

He seemed weak, nerd, yet gentle and kind. Not that she liked bad boys, but she was expecting someone who looked at least a bit… stronger. Heck, he even had an eye patch on his left eye.

_Is he trying to look cool? Well, too bad, he looks pretty stupid._

The guy, however, seemed surprised at the discovery of his string leading to her finger, but he bowed slightly and gave a polite smile to her anyway.

She waited for him to approach her, and probably- ask her out. She had always thought that she didn’t have time for this trifling matter, but when she was finally able to see her soulmate, she couldn’t help but feel a bit… _thrilled_.

Even though she was planning to turn him down afterwards.

Her arms crossed, her foot tapped restlessly against the floor as she was waiting for him to make the move. A deep scowl etched on her face as he did nothing of the sort. Instead, he headed to one of the empty tables, sat down on a chair, and skimmed through the catalog menu to decide which coffee he should pick.

The scowl on her face deepened.

_Is he playing hard to get? Seriously??_

“Oi.” She approached him, as she got closer and closer, she realized that the string contracted- becoming shorter and shorter.

She waved her right hand in front of his face. _His stupid face_. He didn’t look uneducated, in fact- he looked like a smart nerd, but the fact that he didn’t even try to make a move on his own soulmate somehow pissed her off that she started to call his face stupid in her mind.

“You can see it, right? The string.”

He stared at her hand for a moment, then at her scowling face.

“Ah, yes. I can see it.”

He was a little too polite and it somewhat pissed her off even more.

“So?” She asked irritatingly as she crossed her arms.

“…So?”

“Aren’t you going to… ask me out or something? My best friend’s soulmate asked her out the moment they met each other.” Her eyes landing everywhere but on him, too embarrassed at the fact that she had just _asked_ him to _ask_ her out.

“I see… That’s what I did too.” He murmured softly, but it caught her interest.

“Did? What do you mean?” She pulled out the chair in front of him and sat down, waiting for his explanation.

“This is my second string. My first one was with a… _ghoul_. She cut it herself though. Right before she was trying to eat me.” Silence slipped between them- the atmosphere they had just now had changed significantly. His bangs covered his eyes so she could not see them, but judging by the way he told her, the incident was definitely something that he could not forget for the rest of his life.

“You survived?” She raised her eyebrow. “How? _Are you making this up_?” She had a hunch that he wasn’t lying, but the question still came out of her mouth anyway.

He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Her eyes narrowed as she studied his expression carefully, but she couldn’t find any hint of lies. _It doesn’t seem like he’s lying… but how did he survive? A dove helped him? He_ does _have an interesting scent, but it’s not a ghoul’s._

_Well, whatever. I will not date a human._

“Should we cut it?” She asked bluntly.

“Eh??”

“You’re clearly traumatized by your first soulmate. And you’re not even my type. I think we should cut it.”

“No, don’t.” He grabbed her wrist out of panic. Her eyes followed his grip angrily, and he quickly let her wrist go. “I- I’m sorry. I just… I was scared.”

“You should.” _Because I’m a ghoul too._

“Let’s- let’s give it a try. One date. If it’s horrible, then we’ll cut it. Okay?”

She thought for a while, staring hard at him, trying to imagine any future that they might have together.

“Nope. I don’t think I will fall for you.”

He was taken aback by her answer, and it showed evidently on his face.

“But, if- if it doesn’t work out then I’m left with my last string…” He pleaded. They both knew what it meant. The final string would be the most risky because it may not be the same case for the soulmate. If the soulmate who still had two strings left cut the string off, then they would end up alone for the rest of their lives as their three strings were used up. There was no such thing as four strings.

Touka parted her lips to say something- but nothing seemed to come out. Despite feeling sorry for him, she couldn’t afford to date a human. She needed to get rid of him from her life.

_Fine, I’ll treat you badly to make you cut the string yourself._

“Alright then, one date. But to be frank I prefer to stay single for the rest of my life rather than falling in love with you.” _Because we can’t coexist._

She noticed the hurt in his grey eye as his gaze flickered to the red string that connected their fingers together.

“That’s so mean… But thank you, for giving me a chance.”

“Yeah, whatever. My shift is ending in half an hour. You wanna wait for me?”

“Sure.” He gave her a warm smile, and she smiled back awkwardly, like a forced smile.

“I’m Kirishima Touka.” She took out her right hand, the string contracted as she did so.

“Kaneki Ken.”

 

* * *

 

The date was horrible.

At least- for Kaneki.

Touka was obviously not interested in him. So she kept on teasing him saying she’s a ghoul and she’ll eat him by the end of the date which scared the shit out of him. She wasn’t intending to eat him- but he looked so cute when he was scared. She secretly had a lot of fun teasing him throughout the date, but it was intentional as she was hoping he would cut the string off by the end of the day.

Kaneki on the other hand was trying his best to get to know her, but she simply brushed him off, not feeling comfortable enough to share about her personal life with a stranger, albeit the stranger was none other than her own soulmate.

 

She stood outside a convenience store, waiting for him to buy some ice creams when suddenly two guys appeared out of nowhere and pulled her into an alleyway next to the building.

“What are you doing here all alone, little girl? Wanna play with us?” One of them was tall and fat, and the other one was slightly shorter yet well-built. They both seemed slightly tipsy.

“Shut up. Let me go.” She weakly pulled her arm, couldn’t risk using her ghoul strength when Kaneki might see her and worse, report her to the CCG. _No, can’t risk it._

Tracing her would be easy since they were connected by the red string, and to cut the string, both parties must present at the scene, a proof of agreement on both sides.

“Come on~ We just wanna play~” The slightly shorter guy pushed her against the wall, yanking her dark hair so that her face was facing him.

She was planning to spit on the guy’s ugly face, but the voice of her _soulmate_ stopped her from doing so.

“Let her go!” Kaneki appeared with a plastic bag in his hand containing their ice creams. He was glaring daggers at them, but they didn’t seem fazed by it.

“Ohho~ your soulmate, eh? What a waste to have someone like him as a soulmate.” He lowered his gaze while shaking his head, pretending to sympathize with her. “Why don’t you just cut the string? You deserve someone way better than this nugget.” They started to laugh loudly which sounded very much irritating to her ears.

“S-shut up!” Kaneki made a move to punch the rude guy who was holding Touka, but the taller guy started to hit him from behind.

He lay helplessly on the hard ground while they kicked him mercilessly.

Touka just stood there, she was in a dilemma- whether to reveal her strength, or just acted as a weak girl. Kaneki’s body looked so frail, and those guys were beating him using their full strength.

However, before she could even decide, kagune emerged from his back- knocking down the two guys instantly.

He had a horrified look on his face as he stood up, perhaps he was expecting her to scream or cry for help, or maybe run then call the police to report him to the CCG.

But she just stood there, her violet eyes widened- surprised at what had just occurred right in front of her eyes.

“You’re a ghoul too?”

 

* * *

 

Kaneki started to work at Anteiku, learning more about the world of ghouls with Touka and the rest of the café members.

They weren’t dating. But she did not dislike him anymore.

They grew closer and closer each day, with her teaching him how to brew coffee, and him trying his best to meet her expectations. She gave him a lot of trouble on purpose sometimes, but he never held a grudge against her. Not even once.

When he said he would be sad if she died, after she was badly injured as a result of her own brashness, she couldn’t stop the warm feelings building up inside her.

She stopped bullying him, and they got even closer after he asked her to teach him how to fight. Eventually, feelings developed between them.

 

One day, he gathered up his courage to ask her out on a date, for real. She said yes, and he seemed so excited, continuing his work while grinning stupidly all the time.

Four months ago, she stated that she wouldn’t fall for him- that she’d prefer to stay single for the rest of her life rather than falling in love with him. Fate, on the other hand, proved her wrong; his delicate side made her wanted to protect him, his nerdiness helped her with her difficult school exams, his caring side made her happy, and his kindness melted her icy heart, allowing him into her life.

She had fallen for him, slowly but surely.

 

A smile blooming on her face as she stared at the red string on her pinky finger which led to her soulmate. _Maybe this is a good beginning_ , she thought.

 

However, fate seemed to be cruel to her, mocking her own words back then, giving her a taste of karma.

Their relationship ended before it even started.

The date never happened.

He was kidnapped by Aogiri.


	2. Change [Shironeki]

When Kaneki Ken first saw Kirishima Touka- his second soulmate, he was being nonchalant about it.

After all, he was almost eaten by his first soulmate- on their first date.

Not to mention he got turned into a half-ghoul also because of his so-called soulmate.

So when the string reappeared around his pinky finger a few days later, when he was still in utter shock and struggling to adjust to the changes in his newly ghoul body, he didn’t even notice.

And when he was finally aware of the string’s existence, he didn’t even bat an eye at it.

Even until three weeks later, when he discovered that his second string was tied to a rather cute girl, he decided not to take any drastic action.

So he just smiled politely, hoping she would understand that he was acknowledging her, but didn’t want to take their relationship further yet.

Until she bluntly asked if they should cut it off.

No, he couldn’t risk it.

So he _had_ to ask for a date. Just _one_ date, to see if it was worthy to be cut off.

Else, he would end up with his third and final string. Which was still a huge risk considering his lack of experience with girls, because his third soulmate might cut it off too due to his boring personality, who knows?

Apparently, he had to thank his first soulmate, as the result of him becoming a half-ghoul was what prevented Touka from cutting off their string.

Because she was planning to cut it if he were a human.

 

* * *

 

In the four months time they spent working at Anteiku, he got to know his soulmate better.

He took his sweet time to observe her, and realized what a hardworking student she was, how she valued Yoriko as her best friend as she ate the meal that was cooked for her even though it weakened her body, and how she was very attentive to Hinami, him and the rest of the Anteiku members. Beneath the cold and brash attitudes, she was actually very kind. And very cute too.

In those four months, he had developed some desires within him.

The desire to become stronger, to have the strength to protect everyone around him.

The desire to protect his soulmate, whom he was scared if she died somewhere without him knowing.

Because she always took things into action more than he did, and he was always looking at her back. He felt completely useless. He wanted to be helpful too.

He was weak, so he tried his best to become stronger.

He didn’t have muscles, so he worked hard to gain them.

He didn’t want her to waste her life, so he told her his feelings- that he would be sad if she died.

 

When she came to Aogiri just to rescue him, fighting all by herself, beaten up and getting injured, he couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty.

She was beaten up, because of him.

She was in pain, because of him.

She was fighting her brother, because of him.

All because of him.

He determined to keep her away from him. For all he could give her was pain, and not a single happiness.

She deserved a normal life. She deserved a better guy. And most importantly, she deserved to _live_.

He couldn’t assure all of these if they were together.

For he had chosen a dangerous path in his life, and it would only endanger her- his soulmate, more.

Which is why, he decided to cut the string.

 

* * *

 

It ended so soon before it even started.

She wasn’t just angry with him. Upset, disappointed, sad- every emotion bottled up, swirling like a whirlpool inside her.

After he escaped from Aogiri, he had the option to return to Anteiku, but he didn’t.

Instead, he left.

Forming his own group and leaving her- his soulmate, behind.

Even though he said he would never leave her alone.

He lied.

 

* * *

 

After six months of not meeting each other, with only a birthday present she received from him through Yoriko, he asked her to meet him at the bridge nearby Anteiku.

His snow white hair remained the same as six months ago when he decided to leave her. However, his facial expression changed drastically. Long gone the politeness on his features. Long gone the cute blushes on his cheeks when he was caught staring at her. Long gone the innocence on his face, it was replaced by a pain, sorrowful look. Anyone who saw him would know that he had suffered enough in his life.

Before they could even begin a proper conversation, her fist moved by itself, landing furiously on his cheek.

She punched him.

Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Longing. All the emotion built up within her was channeled to him through her hard strikes.

Kaneki just stood still, accepting her punches as he knew the outcome of their reunion would bring her more pain than the beatings he received.

“Why? Why did you leave me?” She asked as tears brimming in her eyes. Without thinking, she hugged him. Crying her heart out on his chest.

She missed him. So badly. There wasn’t a day where she didn’t stare at the red string on her pinky finger and cried silently. Seeing the string led to an invisible path tortured her to the core, knowing that he was alive somewhere, but his exact location was unknown to her.

But it was even more painful when she realized that he didn’t hug her back, or did anything to calm her.

She pulled away, her violet eyes searching his grey ones.

“Kaneki?” She spoke so slowly, barely above a whisper.

“Touka-chan… I think, we should cut the string.” He plainly stated, it sounded cold to her ears as his face was showing no emotion at all. _At all_.

“ _What?_ ” Were her ears playing tricks on her? “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“W-w-what do you mean?” She trembled slightly, her eyes widened in disbelief.

“You deserve to be happy, Touka-chan.” He looked away from her teary eyes, unable to face her. “I can’t give you happiness.”

“Who gives you the right to decide that?!” She exclaimed, her breath became noticeably shaky.

“It’s dangerous if you stayed with me.”

“But it’s not dangerous for Hinami? Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!”

He remained speechless, motionless- leaving her question hanging.

“Kaneki, if you do this, we-“

“I know.” His voice sounded raspy, his eyes staring deep into hers, filled with cold determination.

The moment he said it, the moment she looked into his eyes, she realized how serious he was. He didn’t come here asking for permission, he came here to notify her, because the string could only be cut in presence of both parties.

“I see. So I meant nothing to you.” her head hung low, tears threatening to fall again but she held it back. Showing tears would make her look more stupid, and she couldn’t afford that. Not in front of her soulmate who wanted to end their relationship.

She almost laughed to herself. _What relationship? We didn’t even have a proper date._

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he took out a pair of scissors from his sling bag and placed his fingers into position.

She would have stopped him if she wasn’t in utter shock witnessing her very own soulmate cutting their string into two, severing their only connection with each other.

Helplessly, she watched in disbelief as the ribbon started to untie itself from her and his pinkies, falling slowly and disappeared before it even reached the ground, leaving their fingers bare.

No more string connecting them together.

No more chance of them ending up together.

No reasons needed for her to keep on waiting for him.

For this action separated them eternally.

“Goodbye, Touka-chan.”

 

* * *

 

Arima Kishou stared at the updated document in front of him, his expression changed slightly, though he was quick to conceal it.

**Kaneki Ken. 19 years old. xx.**

“Too bad, he’s cute.” A woman blurted out. “What are you going to do with him?”

“It’s none of your business, Eto.”

“Of course it’s my business. Don’t forget your place, Kishou.” She pulled his tie towards her, staring hard into his seemingly cold eyes behind the rectangle glasses. She held a more powerful position than him, so he had no choice but to follow her orders.

But he could always break the rules…

“I’ll take care of him.”

“Good.” She released her hold on his tie, her eyes shooting a warning glare at him. “Do your job properly this time, Kishou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, I ship Touken as hard as you guys too :)


	3. Lost [No. 240]

Weeks passed by.

Touka peered at her pinky finger. There was no string tied around it.

Nothing.

She missed him, so badly.

His stupid smile when he was too damn excited talking about plain, boring books.

His stupid technique of making coffee that pissed her off even though he was doing it correctly.

His stupid blushing face especially when he was caught staring at her. 

She missed him.

A lot.

But she lost him.

Forever.

She shouldn’t be like this.

She shouldn’t cry every single night. He wasn’t her soulmate anymore.

She shouldn’t even care. Because he would never come back anymore.

But she did care.

And she waited.

Every single day.

Even when she knew she would be destined with another guy, and he would be with another girl.

She built a home for him to return to.

 

* * *

 

Kaneki Ken sat on the bed in the closed cell, staring painfully at his bare pinky finger. His right hand clutched to his chest, his heart aching from his foolish action weeks ago.

But he did not regret it, because his action actually saved her.

Saved her from being captured as well, or worse- killed.

Saved her time from keeping on waiting for him, as he was imprisoned in the Cochlea until God knows when.

Saved her future, as she would find her second soulmate hopefully soon, so that she could live happily- without him.

His heart clenched at the thought of her with someone else.

Holding hands. Laughing. _Kissing._

He buried his face in his hands, trying his best to compose himself.

 _It’s for the best._ He reminded himself. _Forget her._ _She’s not yours anymore._

He moved his hands slightly just so he could stare at his pinky finger again.

So he could face the reality that they weren’t soulmates anymore.

That he had lost her, and no matter how much he wished to be with her, he couldn’t.

Not anymore.

Too lost in his own misery, he didn’t even realize Arima Kishou had entered the cell, placing several new books on the cold hard tile beside the bed.

His eyes followed the half-ghoul’s gaze.

“No string?” He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, facing him.

“Arima-san. I’m sorry I didn’t realize-“

“It’s alright.” He cut off, his eyes staring at the half-ghoul’s pinky finger. “Do you long to be loved, Number 240?”

Number 240. His prisoner number. A harsh reminder that this was where he belonged now. That he was forced to spend his whole life here.

That he really should forget about her.

“I don’t long for it. Not anymore.” His left eye seemed lifeless as he spoke. His right eye- however, was covered in bandages, his snow white hair messily falling over it.

“Why?” Arima pushed his rectangle glasses higher on to the bridge of his nose. “What happened?”

“I had one, no- two soulmates, previously. I didn’t love my first one, but, I- I _do_ love my second one.” There was nothing to lose about admitting his feelings openly, and since the investigator asked him- and he had just thought about it just now- so why not?

“Why is your finger bare then?”

“…I cut the string off.”

A deafening silence fell over them. He exhaled a heavy breath, and pressed his hands against his face again before continuing.

“I just- I want her to be happy, I can’t give her happiness. She should be happy with someone else.” He whimpered, his face filled with agony.

“Don’t you think she’ll be happier if she stayed with you?”

“No.” His head shook slowly. “She won’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m here.” _Trapped. In this cell._

His hands were still covering his face, he looked so pitiable that Arima decided to ask his next question.

“Do you want her back?”

The answer was obvious as a sharp gasp escaped his mouth, but he bit his lower lip right after.

“I can’t. We- we’re not soulmates anymore.” His heart still ached painfully in his chest, as if someone was stabbing it continuously for hours. He couldn’t make it feel better no matter how he tried to.

Arima stared at the half-ghoul for a moment before asking him the final question.

“If you were given a second chance, do you want to be with her again?”

He was bewildered by the odd question, but still answered it truthfully.

“ _Yes_.”

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately, a few days later, his memory failed him. Not just his memory of his soulmate, but of everything.

His childhood.

His friends.

His identity.

He couldn’t remember a single thing.

 

Arima, however, kept his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter. But the next one will be long because, well- it's about Haise ;)


	4. Memory [Haise]

On one fine afternoon, Touka felt it.

A new red string.

It slowly made its appearance around her pinky finger again. Which means, her soulmate was nearby.

She should feel relieved.

She should be excited.

She should be smiling.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she felt distressed.

It was painful.

Because she still loved _him_.

But, maybe- just maybe, she should move on.

Three years were too long. She really should forget about him. Besides, he was no longer Kaneki Ken that she used to know.

_“He’s a dove now.” Nishiki blurted, his one-year-old daughter was sleeping soundly in his arms._

_“What?”_

_“He has amnesia, I think. He goes by the name Sasaki Haise now. But he seems to remember me vaguely, he called me senpai.”_

A dove.

First, they were no longer soulmates.

Second, he became a dove.

A _fucking_ dove.

What a cruel fate.

But then again, fate had always been very cruel to her.

Always.

Ever since she was born.

So, this? This was nothing new.

Her attention was brought back to the present as she felt her string tugged and straightened, leading to the door of Re café.

 _Oh._ She didn’t expect her soulmate to be appearing so soon.

 _So he’s a customer, again_?

The chime was heard, and before she greeted him, she closed her eyes- taking a deep breath, wishing that this soulmate could help her to forget him.

She wasn’t ready to move on, but she had to.

She needed to start afresh.

She had to forget him.

Slowly, very slowly, she opened her eyes.

Oh how she was wrong.

It was _him_.

Despite the stupid pudding black and white hair, the sharp jawline that made him appeared more handsome than she would like to admit, and his much taller height, it was really _him_.

Same scent.

Same eyes.

He even had the same stupid face.

She had thousands of questions on her mind as to why the string matched the same person twice. As far as she knew- once the string had been cut, both parties will be assigned to someone else. And she clearly saw him cutting it off three years ago right in front of her eyes. So how in the hell-?

Her thought was cut short as he approached her, his eyes seemed surprised but at the same time mesmerized seeing her beautiful face.

 

_“Haise, how is your search for good coffee going so far?”_

_“There are some good coffee shops but none of them are_ that _special..? So I will keep on searching I guess…”_

_“I see. I heard there’s a good cafe in 16th ward named Re. Maybe you will found more than just a cup of delicious coffee there.”_

 

Arima was right.

He met his soulmate, right here, in the cafe.

He had never been to the 16th ward before. The moment he arrived there, he was surprised to see a red string forming a ribbon knot on his pinky finger.

All these years he thought he would never meet his soulmate, or he had cut the string off three times. Therefore he never expected her existence, and luck was by his side as she was exceptionally attractive.

Too attractive, he felt as if he was dreaming. As if this wasn’t real.

He raised his left hand awkwardly, staring at his finger- then at hers, constantly shifting his gaze between them.

“G-good afternoon! I’m Sasaki Haise. You can see it too, right? The string?” He wiggled his hand, and the string contracted and extended with his every move.

“Yes, I can see it. I’m… Kirishima Touka.” She bowed slightly and gave him a polite smile.

_Ah, how beautiful._

“It’s nice to meet you, Kirishima-san. Um, I know this is so sudden but, since we are tied by the same string, would you like to be my, um- friend?”

She almost snorted. Almost.

_Friend?_

“I mean, I would like to get to know you better… But it would be too sudden to ask you out, so…” He blushed while rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t mind.”

“R-really?” He looked so excited, and she chuckled lightly at his enthusiasm.

_He’s so different from Kaneki…_

“Then, would you like to go out with me, Kirishima-san?” The blush on his face had become even more prominent as he waited patiently for her response.

_Ah, now it’s Kaneki._

This time, she didn’t have the mocking expression. This time, she didn’t seem to reject him.

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

The date was nice. He was trying his best to please her, and she was giving him her full attention, unlike on their first date which he didn’t even have any memory of.

Her eyes turned sad remembering their first date.

How she regretted not treating him properly.

How she regretted not accepting his kind intention.

How she regretted not being able to have a proper date with him.

She wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

_We’re on a date now, aren’t we?_

It took them almost four years, but she was glad that they were finally having their first real date.

 

He told her about his amnesia, but she just smiled at him, squeezing his hand, telling him she was totally fine with it.

His mind went blank at the contact. So he just nodded dumbly as they walked together side by side, hand in hand, arms and shoulders occasionally bumped against one another.

He glanced at her beautiful face, and he felt relieved that her cheeks had the same red color as his.

Was her heart pounding as hard as his too?

He walked her home, and she was contemplating if she should invite him in. She was well aware that if she did, she couldn’t let him go, as she had waited for him for three years long.

But in his eyes, she was just a stranger.

A stranger that he had just met- that turned out to be his soulmate.

But it didn’t change the fact that they had just met.

So she didn’t invite him in.

And he left.

But they made a promise to have another date next time.

* * *

 

The next day- during a meeting, Haise couldn’t stop staring at the red string around his finger, grinning ear to ear like an idiot all the time and was in total lost when Hanbee asked for his opinion on the matter that they were discussing.

“I think Sasaki-sensei found his soulmate…” Mutsuki whispered to Urie, but he just smirked and took her hand in his, the length of their red string shortened as he did so.

She smiled at his action and looked up to see Saiko was trying to exchange a knowing look with her as her eyebrows wiggled playfully after giving a glance at their mentor.

_Yeah. Sensei found his soulmate. Even Saiko could see it._

 

“How was Re’s coffee?” Arima enquired once the meeting ended.

“It was delicious!” He beamed, not including the fact that he cried after taking a sip. “Arima-san, I… I uh-”

“You met your soulmate, right?”

“H-h-how do you know?” His face was a blushing mess in front of his superior. _Is it too obvious?_

“It’s so obvious, Haise. But I’m happy for you. Cherish her properly this time.” A small smile formed on the investigator’s face as his hand tapped the half-ghoul’s shoulder.

“I will!”

Haise was _too_ excited that the word ‘this time’ wasn’t even registered into his mind.

 

* * *

 

Their date continued on a weekly basis. On their fourth date, he mustered up his courage to kiss her at her front door before saying goodbye.

It was a sweet kiss, meant to be short but Touka wouldn’t let it end there.

There was no goodbye as she invited him into her apartment.

He was a bit nervous, and she could see by the way his hand fiddled with his cup of black coffee, one that she prepared specially for him.

He took a sip, and as usual, tears pooling in his eyes as if he had no control over them. The effect of her coffee had always been too overwhelming for him.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know why-“ he gasped when she ran her thumbs on his cheeks, wiping his tears away and giving him a sad smile.

Touched by her kind gesture, he leaned in to press his lips against hers. From their first kiss earlier, he discovered that her lips were much softer than he had imagined, that he couldn’t help but to kiss her over and over again now that they weren’t in public. Besides, how could he resist when she returned his kiss with equal passion, threading her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck- making him thrill?

Their foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath, the taste of each other’s coffee lingered on both of their lips.

She took in his features. Parted, swollen lips. Flushed cheeks. Hooded eyes- gazing hungrily at her lips.

He wanted this.

And so did she.

 

This time, she decided to follow her heart.

She had spent three years waiting for him- her ex-soulmate who happened to be her soulmate again, therefore she didn’t want to let him go anymore.

She closed the gap between their lips, her arms instantly wrapped tightly around his neck. He took no time to explore her again. Their hot breaths mingled, their wet tongues dueled, intimately.

His hands started to move on their own- pulling her closer, sliding beneath her shirt- trying to feel more of her skin, her curves, her warmth. Her body seemed to fit just nicely against his, as if they were made for each other.

Well of course, they were soulmates after all.

 

Their lips- albeit messily, never left each other as she guided him to her room, towards her bed. They fell onto the mattress, his larger frame hovering her smaller one.

Her hands struggled with his belt, and his hands fumbled with her bra clasp. Both just laughed at each other’s clumsiness. But his heart raced the moment her hands went to her back, unhooking her bra, revealing her breasts to him.

He wasted no time in placing his hands- then his mouth- on them.

The sweet sounds of her soft moans fueled him, so he bucked his hips against hers- wanting to hear more, to feel more, to taste more.

But somehow, it wasn’t enough.

She tugged his briefs off, and he did the same to her panties. Immediately, their hands roamed each other’s body- touching, caressing, teasing, exploring.

His fingers stroke her, then slid into her- one digit at first, then two, then three- whereas her fingers gripped the sheet beneath her tightly as delightful moans escaped her lips.

As she came down from her high, he couldn’t help but stare, absorbing every detail, etching it into his memory. Her inner walls clamped around his fingers, her chest heaving- glistened with sweat, her lips parted- panting for breath, her half-lidded eyes- heavy and sultry, and her face was flushed with pleasure. She was beautiful. So beautiful. And she was his.

_His._

A part of him was hoping that this was real, that he was not dreaming.

Because it would be a lie to say he didn’t want this, when it was her who occupied his mind ever since they started dating.

 

She pulled him down for a kiss, her legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer, closer, wanting to feel more of him against her. They both groaned at the aching pleasure. He was unbearably hard, and it was straining him undeniably, but he hesitated.

“Are you…  are you sure about this?” he asked, breathlessly, his burning eyes filled with lust, but he just _had_ to confirm.

What a gentleman.

“We’re soulmates, Haise. Do it.”

_Soulmate._

He entered her slowly, so slowly, as her face contorted with the foreign feeling of him inside of her. She gasped in pain, and he paused momentarily, giving her ample time to adjust.

She urged him to move when she no longer felt the initial pain, and so he did. Slowly at first, then getting faster, and harder, occasionally moaning her name.

She held him close with every single thrust, never wanting to let him go ever again, even when he had no recollection of his past.

Their bodies moved together as one, perfectly in sync, until they found their release, until she was filled with his seed- which she didn’t mind.

 _We’re soulmates, after all_.

 

* * *

 

Her head rested on his chest while his right arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

He stared at their intertwined fingers, the red string’s length was short due to their close proximity. He pulled his left hand further away from hers and noticed the string extended with his movement. He moved it closer, and it shortened again.

“Stop it.” She lightly punched his arm.

“Sorry. I just- I can’t believe it. To have a beautiful woman like you as my soulmate, it’s a gift from God to me.” He gazed at her face adoringly as his fingers stroke her light blue hair. She chuckled. It sounded nice.

“Do you remember which string yours is?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“This could be your third string, you know?” She smiled, teasingly. Behind the smile, however, there was some inexplicable sadness in her eyes.

“You could be true… is this your first string..?”

“No.” She noticed the disappointed look on his face. “But you’re my first…”

His cheeks automatically turned red, but he was secretly happy at the same time.

“I- I can’t remember if I’ve done this before. I’m sorry.”

She leaned in for a kiss, smiling knowingly against his lips.

“I don’t care, Haise. What matters is, will you stay?” Her violet eyes searched his grey ones, seeking assurance.

“Of course! We’re soulmates, Touka-san. I will never leave you. Unless- unless you want me to.” His face fell as he muttered the last sentence, but she just pinched his cheek playfully.

“Idiot. Why would I want you to leave me?”

 

* * *

 

Even if time passed, even if his body changed, even if he didn’t remember her, Sasaki Haise was exactly the same as Kaneki Ken.

He didn’t keep his promises.

It lasted for only two months. He didn’t answer her calls. He moved out of his apartment.

It was as if he was just a ghost in those two months, and Touka wondered if he was real.

But the positive line on her pregnancy test kit proved her that he was indeed real.

Trembling, she ran her hand over her stomach. It was still relatively flat, showing no sign of the life growing within.

But she knew.

She knew that a life was growing. A life they had created together.

Will the child even be born right?

 

Her gaze averted to the red string around her finger- the ribbon knot seemed so securely tied as if to assure her that he was still alive, and they were still connected to each other.

 _It’s okay,_ she calmed herself. _We’re still soulmates._


	5. Returned [Reaperneki]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the similarity with Regina chapter 16. The truth is, I wrote this chapter last year. So Regina was inspired by this. Lol.

Kaneki‘s mind was racing, playing through every outcome of his plans to save Hinami. But no matter how many possible outcomes he computed, how many scenarios he predicted, they seemed futile. By saving her, he would eventually face the unbeaten CCG investigator, none other than his mentor- his father figure himself.

If possible, he didn’t want to fight him.

Even if he did- he knew he couldn’t win, as Arima Kishou was just too physically powerful.

He’d never won in their weekly training. And his defeat in their fight three years ago almost cost his own life.

If they were to fight again, the result of their battle would be either he ended up dead, or, he ended up alive- but being locked up in Cochlea forever.

_Death doesn’t sound so bad…_

Either way, he couldn’t risk having his soulmate to wait for him forever.

No. He _really_ couldn’t.

She had already waited for him for three years back then, and in his honest- selfish and biased opinion, it was too much for her.

She should move on.

She deserved someone else. Someone who wouldn’t make her keep on waiting.

Someone normal, who didn’t have any death wishes.

 

* * *

 

After one month of trying to contact him, Touka eventually gave up. She _knew_ he would return one day, as their string was still connected to each other after all.

But when he suddenly showed up at her front door, she was astounded. His hair was jet black, and he seemed to wear a permanent frown on his face. His expression was cold, _so different_ from Haise that she knew it wasn’t Haise anymore, but Kaneki.

“Where have you been?”

Silence. Only the sound of the cars on the streets could be heard as they stared at each other, before he looked away.

She knew she should have confronted him, but she was way too tired. The hamburger she had eaten earlier, accompanied by the strong effort of not vomiting it out was draining her energy.

So she let him into her apartment out of courtesy, but he didn’t even sit down when she offered him to.

Both took a proper look at each other. They both looked like _shit_.

Kaneki’s eyebags were prominent, and his eyes seemed lifeless, empty.

Touka looked terribly drained as she had to eat human food every day, and it was evidently weakening her body.

Both realized each other’s awful appearance, but neither said a thing about it.

Kaneki chose to break the silence.

“I swore I cut it years ago.” He raised his left hand, and she followed his gaze to his pinky finger. “It’s… annoying to see it every single day.”

“Maybe… maybe we’re meant to be together-“

“I should cut it again.”

 _What?_ Her eyes widened, all her tiredness being swept away by his harsh words.

“Don’t you _dare!_ This is your _third_ string, Kaneki. If you do this, you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life!” She snapped at him.

“I don’t care, Touka. I don’t care.” _You deserve someone else._ “You still have one more string after this. So it’s alright, as long as you are not alone.”

His hand on his chin gave him away, and it pissed her off knowing that he was not alright with it, yet he still wanted to cut off their string, their only connection with each other.

“Do you seriously think I will be happy with someone else?”

He ignored her question and proceeded to pull out a pair of scissors from his black coat, but before he could hold it properly, she snatched it away from him.

If look could kill, she would be dead by now.

“Give it back.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m asking you _nicely_ , Touka. Give it back.” He demanded, his gaze was cold and terrifying as he stepped forward towards her, but Touka just placed the scissors behind her as she backed away from him.

“Why? Why are you doing this again? Do you hate me _that much_?”

No answer came from him, but he was still walking towards her- his gaze remained as cold as ice- menacing, threatening.

“Is it because I didn’t tell you the truth? _You_ were the one who asked me for a date. How could I say no when I still love you?”

There. She said it. He stopped his advance at her confession, then looked away immediately, biting his lower lip so hard it almost bled.

“If I don’t cut our string off, you will suffer even more.” _I don’t want you to wait for me as I’m rotting in Cochlea._

“How is that so? Are you trying to sacrifice yourself by saving Hinami?”

He gasped, and at that moment she clarified her assumption.

“Don’t, Kaneki. Don’t sacrifice yourself. I need you.” _Our baby needs you_.

“There’s no other choice.”

“There is! Just find one!”

“I’ve tried! In the end, I still can’t evade Arima Kishou…” He covered his face with his hands, a sign of defeat and helplessness as he knew he couldn’t win against the experienced investigator. No one had won against him, so what difference could he make?

Nothing.

“I hope your next soulmate makes you happy, unlike me. I only give you pain, Touka.” _In the past, now, and in the future._

She shook her head. Tears brimming in her eyes as there were so many emotions trapped within her- sadness, frustration, longing- and she couldn’t hold them all.

“No. No one else can make me happy. Only you.”

“I _can’t_ give you happiness, Touka.” _Ayato and_ _you won’t be happy if Hinami dies._ “Now please, give me the scissors.”

“No, I won’t.” She started to back away again. “I won’t let you, Kaneki. Not in a million years.” Her gaze was deadly despite the tears, and he would’ve been intimidated if he was the same nerd, shy guy four years ago.

“Why can’t you see it? It’s useless for you to wait for me!”

“No, why can’t _you_ see it?! I’ll wait for you no matter how long it’ll take! I don’t want you to waste your final string!”

A couple of tears fell from her violet eyes, she tried her best to wipe them away but they just couldn’t stop falling. The sound of her sobs filled the silent apartment.

“I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life alone, Kaneki. That’s… very lonely.”

_But I don’t have a choice. It’s either death or Cochlea._

“And I don’t want you to waste your time waiting for me. Just hand me the scissors.”

“No!” Her stubbornness was infuriating him, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

So he decided to use plan B.

“I’m sorry, Touka-chan.”

It happened too fast.

Just like before, she could only watch helplessly as red tendrils emerged from his back, leaving her gasping in shock. By the time she was well aware of what he was planning to do, she was just _a bit_ too late.

He pierced their string with his _kagune_.

 

* * *

 

Hinami was right behind him, doing her best to catch up with his speed as they were trying to escape from Cochlea together. He halted abruptly when he saw a figure not far in front of him, and it was none other than Arima Kishou.

His eyes were cold; a callous, merciless expression etched across his features.

“Hinami, run.”

“But-“

“We’ve cleared the path for you. Go straight ahead until you see the drainage channel. Your husband is waiting for you there.”

“Onii-chan, I can’t leave you-“

“Go! I’ll be right behind you.” His fingers unconsciously brushed his chin.

Before Arima could stop Hinami, Kaneki plunged ahead, blocking the investigator’s weapon, a loud clank was heard as his kagune clashed with it. They pulled back for a bit, only for Arima to break the silence almost immediately.

“…Did you come here to die?” Kaneki’s eyes widened in shock at the unexpected yet very much obvious question.

Arima’s gaze lingered on the half-ghoul’s pinky finger.

“Your string… you cut it off, didn’t you?”

 _How-? Can he see?_ His mouth gaped open in confusion.

“How-?”

“Your eyes are the eyes of a dead man. The dead cannot stop me.”

In a split second, his limbs were severed harshly, causing him to crawl on the ground further away to buy some time to regenerate.

The limbs regenerated within two _painfully long_ minutes before Kaneki stood on his legs once again.

However, Arima was just too quick.

“You never learned don’t you, _Kaneki Ken_?” His right leg was cut off.

“I gave you a chance. And you wasted it.” Followed by his left leg.

“Do you want to die that badly?” Then his right arm.

_Heal. Heal. Heal damn it!!_

“Stop being selfish for once and take a look at the people around you.” His left arm next.

Arima waited for his limbs to be regenerated, only to cut them off again. And again. And again.

“You’re going to cause me so much trouble.” His legs.

“645 times. 645 times I could have fatally wounded you.” His arms next.

“It would take me two seconds to kill you.” He stabbed his thigh. A loud agonizing scream echoed throughout the building.

“But I didn’t.”

He kept on severing the half-ghoul’s limbs, causing him to become a kakuja, his hair eventually turned white and his limbs forming into scaly claws.

Nevertheless, it was obviously a one-sided battle as multiple claw-like arms and legs were scattered on the ground a few minutes later. Arima was just _too_ powerful.

 _Or,_ Kaneki never really fought to win.

He only fought to buy some time for Hinami.

Then, he was willing to accept his death- by his father figure’s hands.

However, it was utterly meaningless as Arima had no intention of killing him either.

 

A heavy sigh escaped Arima’s lips before he put down his weapon, his expression turned slightly softer as he stared at the half-ghoul.

“Go. Go back to 16th Ward. She’s waiting for you.”

_What?_

Kaneki blinked in confusion, were his ears were playing tricks on him?

“W-what are you talking about, Arima-san? Could you please explain?”

“Your soulmate, Kirishima Touka.”

His eyes widened at the mention of her name. _He knows about her… but why- why does he care?_

“I’ve- I’ve cut our string, we’re not soulmates anymore.“

“I’m aware of that. But don’t you remember our conversation, Kaneki?”

_“If you were given a second chance, do you want to be with her again?”_

_“Yes.”_

“But, I’ve used up all of my strings.” He bit his lower lip to hold back his emotions, trying his hard not to break down in front of the older man.

“You wasted your second chance to be with her.” Arima seemed irritated now, and his eyes appeared as cold as ice again. “Why?”

“I want to save-”

“Fueguchi?”

“Yes. She means a lot to me. But I’m doing this for Touka too. I need to save her sister-in-law.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” He blurted.

“…What did you say?”

“You’re doing this for yourself. You just wanted to die, didn’t you?”

Kaneki gasped a little bit louder than he intended to. But he knew he could never hide anything from this man. Arima basically ‘raised’ him for three long years, and became his father figure. How could you hide anything from your father? You couldn’t. And you shouldn’t.

Arima let out a small sigh as he stepped towards the half-ghoul, his eyes never left his. Once he was in front of him, he did something that he had been wanting to do for a long time.

He wrapped his arms around the half-ghoul, like how a superior would hug his subordinate after performing a great job, like how a mentor would hug his mentee after achieving his monthly goals, like how a father would hug his son when he made him proud.

“Every human life is precious, Kaneki. Including yours. Please don’t waste it.”

Kaneki was stunned for a moment, out of all outcomes he had calculated for his plan today, none of them resulting in this. Arima Kishou, the strongest CCG investigator, who was unbeaten against all ghouls, was hugging him.

But it wasn’t like he hated it, in fact- he felt deeply touched by it. He had never once experienced any affection from his father. So this- _this_ , was the closest he could get.

He could feel the warmth radiating from Arima’s body, and slowly, ever so slowly, he returned the hug like how a child would hug his father when he had a nightmare, and tears couldn’t stop falling from his grey eyes.

“I’m sorry, Arima-san. I know it’s impossible for me to evade you, so I… I was planning to die. I didn’t want to injure you…” He confessed.

Arima just patted his back, sighing softly.

“It’s alright. This is goodbye, Kaneki Ken. You will not see me again.”

Kaneki was taken aback by his words, but deep inside he knew that once he had planned this, it meant severing their bond with each other.

He pulled away, his eyes searching for Arima’s behind the lenses of his glasses, seeking validation.

“Arima-san… You’re letting me escape?”

“Yes.” _Even if it costs my life_. “I apologize, Kaneki. For making your life a living hell. For turning you into this. It was all my fault.”

“But- I was really happy as Haise.”

“I didn’t mean as Haise. I meant… before that. I’m sorry.” He paused, he had a concern look now across his face. “This time… if your string reappears, don’t cut it again. Promise me.”

“I- I promise.”

“Don’t ever break it.”

“I won’t, Arima-san. You have my word.” However, confusion swirled in his mind hearing the investigator’s words. He had already used up all of his string. So what was Arima talking about?

“Goodbye, Kaneki Ken.” He stepped aside, giving some space for Kaneki to head to the drainage area.

“Goodbye, Arima-san.” _Thank you._ He stared at the investigator one last time, taking in his features to keep in his lifetime memory before bowing, and leaving.

Arima watched as the half-ghoul left the area, his lips curved into a small smile.

_Eto will be mad at me… But I don’t regret it._

 


	6. Together [Kingneki]

Touka was six months pregnant when her final string reappeared. To be honest, she didn’t know what to think of it.

She knew it won’t be Kaneki again as he had already cut off- no, _pierced_ his final string in front of her.

So her soulmate would be someone else. Someone nearby, as she was in her house when the string reappeared.

Someone who had just moved in, or, someone who had just visited the 16th ward.

She couldn’t help but wonder…

If he saw her huge stomach, would he be repulsed by it?

Would he cut the string the moment he saw her?

Or would he stay and take care of the child that wasn’t even his own?

She laughed, bitterly.

_He will never accept this child._

* * *

 

She decided to stay in her apartment, not going out even once to avoid meeting her soulmate until the baby was born.

Yomo and Ayato were kind enough to help her with groceries, but Yomo suggested her to stay with him as it was too dangerous for a single pregnant woman to live and take care of herself alone.

She informed him that she would move out when she reached seven months of pregnancy.

So for just another one month, she would stay in her own apartment, alone.

Back then, when she told Kaneki that she wouldn’t be happy if it wasn’t him, it was true.

She didn’t think her soulmate would make her happy. But then again, all Kaneki ever gave her was pain. And a child that gave her even more pain in the ass to keep it alive. Those were the harsh truth.

But she would do anything, _anything_ to keep their child safe. Even if she had to sacrifice her health, she would do it without question as long as the baby survived.

She wondered if her mother felt the same way when she was carrying her and Ayato. Did her mother get full support from her father? She must’ve.

She bit her lower lip.

She was alone the whole time. Kaneki didn’t even know. He didn’t even _care_. He just wanted to die in style, leaving everything behind.

Leaving the people who loved him behind.

Leaving his own child behind.

She didn’t tell him about their child because she didn’t want him to stay because he _had_ to, she wanted to see him doing something because he _wanted_ to.

Apparently, love- or red string wasn’t strong enough to make him stay.

In the end, he still chose death.

Touka sighed heavily.

There was no use in thinking about a ghost.

Ayato told her that Kaneki escaped safely from Cochlea. But he didn’t want to meet her because it was pointless.

Because they were no longer soulmates.

And meeting her would only bring more pain to both sides.

So he did the only thing that he was good at.

Avoiding her.

A kick in her belly broke her train of thoughts, she smiled softly while caressing her tummy.

“Let’s read a book, okay?” She rested on the couch, reading a book entitled Pinocchio out loud as if to let the unborn child hear her words.

By the time she finished reading it, tiredness washed over her- she yawned and eventually drifted into a deep slumber.

* * *

 

The sound of her apartment’s doorbell woke her up, but her mind was fully awake when she felt the red string tugged her finger and formed into a straight line towards the door.

_What?_

A slight sense of panic started to creep up on her. She never expected her soulmate to know where she lived, but she had no other choice anyway.

“Yes, coming!” She grabbed the nearest jacket she could find, hoping it would cover her protruding belly.

As she walked towards the door, she noticed that her string was getting shorter and shorter.

Her heart raced with adrenaline, so much that she felt as if it might explode any moment.

Ba-dump.

Ba-dump.

Ba-dump.

She was going to meet him.

Her final soulmate.

_Calm down, my heart._

She closed her eyes- taking a deep, calming breath to steady herself.

When she finally opened the door, her heart stopped for a split second- her violet eyes couldn’t get any wider.

_He_ stood there.

The father of her child. Or, _their_ child- to be précised.

Kaneki’s gaze was glued to the ground, he didn’t even look up to meet her eyes.

He _couldn’t_.

Not after what he had done to her.

All the pain he had caused her.

Shame. Guilt. Yearning.

These emotions swirled around in his heart, causing him to keep on staring at the ground.

Trembling, his knees sank to the floor, his head hung low in shame.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. _I’m sorry_.” He muttered as many times as he could to seek forgiveness. He sounded so pathetic, he knew- and he knew that _she_ knew, but what else could he do?

She didn’t say anything as she stepped outside, pulling him towards her, letting his head rest against her stomach. Kaneki pulled away reflexively as he felt the huge bump.

His face looked up towards it, his jaw dropped- his eyes widened in sheer surprise- guilt and joy overwhelmed him and he couldn’t stop the tears from accumulating in his eyes.

“I’m pregnant, idiot Kaneki.” She said, almost whispering.

* * *

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kaneki was sitting on the couch, and she just came back from the kitchen, bringing two cups of black coffee.

He was obviously referring to their unborn child.

“Would it make any difference?” She placed the cups on the dining table.

“Of course it would.”

“See? That’s why I didn’t tell you.” Sighing, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Because if I did, then you’ll just want to live for the sake of our child. I want you to be selfish for once, Kaneki. Don’t live for others. Live for yourself.”

“But I _do_ want to live on. And, protect you. And our child of course.”

She sat beside him on the couch.

“Really? Because you looked like you wanted to die when you cut our string off back then.” She replied with hints of bitterness and sarcasm in her voice.

He gulped. She was right. She could always see through him no matter how much he wanted to hide from her. How lucky he was, to have a soulmate who could understand him and knew what was inside his mind. He always had difficulties voicing out his feelings, his emotions. But with Touka, it seemed like he didn’t have to go through all that.

“You… You were right, Touka-chan. I was planning to be the sacrificial pawn. I- I wanted to die in style.” He paused, then stared deep into her violet eyes. Slowly, his grey ones filled with determination. “But that was four months ago. I- I don’t want to die anymore.”

“Why?”

“Arima-san told me that every human life is precious, and I shouldn’t waste mine. But he- he risked his life for me.” He sounded in pain now, his jaw clenched tightly as he remembered the day he found out about Arima’s death.

“What do you mean?”

“He was killed- because he allowed me to escape. He- he’s like a father to me.” His tears fell like rain from his eyes, his body quaked with sobs. Touka quickly pulled him against her chest, running fingers through his white hair as she tried to comfort him.

“Sorry to hear that…” She whispered, planting a kiss on top of his head and waited until he calmed down.

She missed this nostalgic moment. Haise loved to snuggle into her chest whenever he was having a bad day, it was as if her warmth and presence were enough to soothe him. Not to mention he always stayed in that position longer than necessary because of his fondness for her breasts, and she always yelled at him for taking advantage of her.

But today, she didn’t mind the long moment. She didn’t mind if he stayed longer than necessary. He was mourning for his father figure, he should get all the time he wanted. Also, she missed him. He had left her alone for too long. Now that they were soulmates again, she wanted him back in her life.

But would he stay? Even if he did, would it be because of their child, or because he wanted to?

Unable to find the answer, she rested her head on top of his- feeling more comfortable. She then closed her eyes- savoring the serene moment between them.

When Kaneki pulled away, his cheeks were slightly red. He must’ve remembered his days as Haise too.

“Thank you, Touka-chan.” He muttered as his hands took hers, his thumbs running over the back of her hands tenderly.

“Mm. What did you do after you escaped? I know that your face was on the news as a wanted criminal- but…”

“I… I didn’t have the courage to meet you.” His eyes were downcast, guilt reappeared on his face. “We weren’t soulmates anymore, meeting you would just hurt us more.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I arrived in the 16th ward last week to buy a limited edition book in the nearby bookstore, but I was surprised to see my red string reappearing. I mean, this is my fourth string. It’s impossible, no matter how I think about it. But I had a hunch that it’ll be you again.” She was staring and listening to him in full concentration that he had the courage to look into her eyes again.

“So I went to Re when I finally have the courage to, which is today. By the time I opened the door, I was extremely disappointed when I couldn’t see the end of my string. I thought my fourth soulmate wasn’t you.” He pressed his lips together. “So I left without even going inside. Luckily I bumped into Nishiki, he told me you’re having a few months break. So I came here just to confirm my assumption. And I was correct.”

His hand raised, caressing her cheek lovingly as he smiled at her, and she leaned into his touch- her eyes closed momentarily as she smiled back at him.

She let out a soft sigh before responding to his explanation.

“To be honest, I’m surprised. I was pretty sure my soulmate would be someone else. And I was… scared too. What if he couldn’t accept the fact that I have a child with my previous soulmate? So I was planning to stay hidden until the baby was born, so that I won’t meet him when my tummy is this huge.” He squeezed her hand tightly, as if telling her, _‘I’m here now.’_ She intertwined their fingers together in response.

After a brief peaceful moment of silence, Kaneki’s face turned serious. He held both of her hands in his, gulped down his saliva before his grey orbs focused intently on her violet ones.

“Touka-chan, I’ve hurt you a lot. I don’t think you can ever forgive me.” He paused, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath before continuing. “But this time, can I stay? I promise, I won’t leave you ever again. I want us to be together. All three of us.” His jaw clenched so tightly, as if he couldn’t calm himself down before getting the answer from her.

“Silly Kaneki. Of course you can stay. Just, don’t break your promises ever again. It hurts like hell.” She bit her lip, trying not to remember the nights she spent crying because of what he had done to her. He left her not once, but _twice_ , it would be a stupid decision to give him a third chance.

But she knew he would stay this time. Not just for their child’s sake, but because he wanted to as well.

“I promise. Thank you, Touka-chan.”

She nodded, and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly, never wanting to let her go ever again. He pulled away slightly to plant his lips on her forehead.

Trembling, he placed his left hand on her stomach. His heart was filled with warmth as he felt a life- their child’s life was growing inside her.

“When is it due?”

“December.” His eyes widened in realization that she went through this pregnancy for a couple of months all by herself.

“I’m sorry- I wasn’t there with you- I should have stayed with you-“

“Shh.” She placed a finger on his lips. “It’s alright. You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

“I’m sorry… I promise, I’ll make you happy this time.”

“Mm.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips onto her stomach gently before capturing her lips in a slow, romantic kiss.

This time, he kept his promises.

* * *

 

Why Kaneki was able to have his fourth string, Touka was still unable to find the answer.

She realized that the myth was wrong as they were assigned together three times too.

Maybe their connection was so strong, that even the fate was breaking the rules just to keep them together.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Their lips locked in the gentlest, sweetest way possible- filled with undeniable love. When they parted, he gave her a loving smile before whispering how much he loved her, and promised that he would never leave her ever again, even if he died.

She chuckled before saying ‘idiot’ while pinching his cheek.

A genuine smile blooming on her face as she stared at the red string on her pinky finger which led to her soulmate, her husband, and the father of their child. _Maybe we’re meant to be together, after all._

 

* * *

 

“Explain this, Cupid Arima Kishou.”

Eto threw the updated document on her desk, Arima’s eyes didn’t even follow the position of the document as he already knew the content of it.

**Kaneki Ken. 23 years old. xxxo.**

**x – Kamishiro Rize**

**x – Kirishima Touka**

**x – Kirishima Touka**

**o – Kirishima Touka**

****

“They still love each other.” He stated bluntly, his eyes betrayed nothing.

“So do other couples. Takizawa Seidou and Mado Akira loved each other too but you assigned both of them to someone else after they cut their string off. Why did you make an exception for this couple?”

“I-“

“You felt guilty, didn’t you?” She interrupted, half-smirking at him.

If she didn’t see the bobbing on his Adam’s Apple, she wouldn’t have known he was gulping his saliva down.

“Yes. It was because of me that he got turned into a half-ghoul and lived this kind of life. He experienced nothing but suffering ever since I assigned his string to Kamishiro Rize.”

“And you love him.” She laced her fingers together, propped her elbows up on her desk, then rested her chin on her fingers.

“…Yes, I do.”

“Aw. My crush says he loves another guy. I’m jealous.”

“… I didn’t mean it that way, Eto.” She giggled at seeing his slightly annoyed expression.

“I know, I was just teasing you.”

“I love him as if he’s my own son. I know that it’s better for them to be together, so that their child will have a complete family.”

“So you broke the rules just for him?” Eto’s face turned serious out of sudden, she was in full Grim Reaper mode now.

“Yes.”

“Are you not aware of the consequences? You didn’t break just one rule, but two. Firstly, you assigned the string to the same couple thrice. _Thrice_ , Kishou! Secondly, you assigned the string for Kaneki Ken more than 3 times. I’m afraid the punishment will be severe for you.” Her eyes glaring in disbelief at her subordinate.

“I am aware of the consequences, and I accept it.”

Eto laid her head back against the chair, staring at the ceiling and sighed heavily.

“I turned a blind eye when you assigned his third string to Kirishima Touka… but this is too much. The higher ups will kill me if I didn’t do anything to you.”

“I understand.”

“And I really liked you as a cupid too… you fulfilled my wish of Kirishima Ayato and Fueguchi Hinami to be together.” She sighed, pouting slightly. “Too bad I have to penalize you.”

No words came out of Arima’s mouth. He wasn’t even a talkative man to begin with.

“Then, as the rules & regulations stated, you will no longer be a human and a cupid. I will take away your privileges, and you’ll become a Grim Reaper from this point onwards. For your second punishment, as a Grim Reaper, _you_ will be the one to take the lives of Kaneki Ken and Kirishima Touka.”

_What?_

He was clearly taken aback by her words, she smirked knowingly at him.

“Are you not accepting the tasks that have been assigned to you? I need to report this to the higher-ups, you know.”

A million thoughts running through his mind. He was well aware that he would be punished, but he didn’t expect it to be awfully cruel. Nonetheless, he had no other choice but to accept the fate that was assigned to him.

“…I accept. When- when will their lives end?”

“Why don’t you see it for yourself?” She opened her drawer and took out two envelopes, placing them on her desk.

He picked them up, both have **Kaneki Ken** and **Kirishima Touka** names embedded on it. He wasted no time in opening them but took his time to read the contents carefully.

Even his usual stoic expression faltered while reading the description of their deaths.

_You’re a cruel one, Eto._

Five years. They had five years left to live before their deaths approached them.

_Well, at least- they’ll die together, in each other’s arms._

-The End-

 

* * *

 

 **Extra** :

“Do you want me to ask the higher-ups? To make Kaneki Ken and Kirishima Touka live much longer?”

Arima didn’t say anything, but by the look he had given her, she could tell that he was definitely interested.

“Don’t underestimate my position, Kishou. I will do it, but on one condition.”

“Which is…?”

She pulled his tie towards her until their noses almost touched each other, her gaze lingered briefly on his parted lips before staring back into his eyes.

“Be my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! So basically Arima was a human and a cupid at the same time, working under Eto, a Grim Reaper who is also his superior. The envelope idea was taken from Goblin, a Korean drama series (highly recommended). It’s up to you to interpret Arima’s answer at the end of this fic. A sequel will come soon, a series of Touken soulmate reincarnations and each chapter will have a different persona of Kaneki. Anyways, appreciate if you could tell your thoughts on this fic! Thanks :)


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